I recently heard about Heidi Klum and Seal’s divorce through the social media grapevine. I was surprised because they always seemed to have such a solid relationship. That was until I watched Seal’s interview with Ellen DeGeneres where he explained that they had grown apart and that above all else, they kept the respect for each other in tact. (Stay with me; this is going somewhere meaningful!)
I found the last piece insightful on his part given that so many divorces are unnecessarily messy and vengeful. The idea of choosing a different thing – no matter how the current thing was perceived – stood out to me.
How many times do we resist change because we’ve been repeatedly told how important virtues like persistence, perseverance, and endurance are for success? We start to believe that any decision that resembles not moving forward is therefore a bad one and would mean that we failed or gave up.
This is not true.
Maybe we just chose something different. A conscious, dignified decision to do something different is not the same as quitting.
You may have heard me say that life is both too long and too short to do work that doesn’t fulfill us. Well, work can be replaced with a whole host of other things. Attitudes about divorce aside, the idea of releasing things that aren’t working in order to welcome something better are rare yet essential to an inspired life.
I was recently skimming an article that defined despair this way:
Suffering – Meaning = Despair
In this equation, when meaning increases, suffering has context and despair is decreased. When we suffer without meaning, despair increases.
What this means is that suffering with meaning is valuable but suffering for suffering’s sake is not.
Back to this concept of releasing things…
If something causes you suffering and has no meaning, there’s nothing wrong with letting it go. Our freedom is tied to our ability to choose – how we live, who we love, the attitudes we hold, the work we do. It’s not necessary to create our own prisons by choosing to do things solely out of guilt or obligation.
It’s when we’ve uncovered the thing we love and cherish so much that it adds meaning to our suffering that we should press forward through obstacles and discomforts. There are some discomforts that render us stronger, wiser, and more resilient while others simply sap our joy and poison our ability to live well.
This has inspired me to make some major changes of my own that you’ll see manifested soon. (I can’t wait to share!) And I encourage you to seriously consider eliminating the clutter and burdens from your life to make room for all of the wonderful things waiting to flow in!
Oh and that trash can from the subject line? Use it to start throwing away the stuff that’s not serving you and work your way up to the big stuff.